Paranoia questions

Who would get into an argument with a psychic about their future?

Who would thank an automatic door?

Who would spend twenty minutes avoiding a two-minute phone call?

Who would buy a portrait at a thrift store and claim it was one of their ancestors?

Who would spend an inheritance on a dinosaur skeleton?

Who would enter a talent show without deciding what their talent was?

Who would get in line before finding out what it was for?

Who would rehearse a surprised face before opening a present?

Who would buy matching storage boxes before deciding what to put in them?

Who would keep a chair nobody was allowed to sit on?

Who would turn a paper napkin into a diagram to settle an argument?

Who would measure a room by lying down on the floor?

Who would start negotiating the bill before anyone had ordered?

Who would check the dessert menu before agreeing on a place to meet for coffee?

Who would make a seating plan for a picnic with three people?

Who would cover up a working doorbell with a sign asking visitors make a loud doorbell sound?

Who would turn a compliment about their jacket into its entire purchase history?

Who would insist they were over something while continuing to bring it up over the course of weeks?

Who would send a calendar invite for something that was supposed to be spontaneous?

Who would mute a group chat and then ask everyone for updates?

Who would type “quick question” before sending three paragraphs?

Who would make everyone change bars because the lighting was unflattering?

Who would say "you too" after being wished a happy birthday?

Who would announce “one more round” while everyone was putting their coats on?

Who would try to straighten a rug while standing on it?

Who would ask a restaurant where they bought the hand soap?

Who would check an apartment's water pressure at a housewarming party?

Who would choose a shopping cart based on how well it corners?

Who would give a pep talk to a printer?

Who would make a group food order harder by saying they’ll have anything?

Who would insist the floor was more comfortable than the sofa?

Who is most likely to make a joke at the absolute worst moment?

Who would ask to have their ashes put in a snow globe?

Who would race to nab the master bedroom in a shared vacation rental?

Who would learn ventriloquism just to make people uncomfortable?

Who would choose a terrible job because they loved the uniform?

Who would agree to be stuffed and displayed in a museum after they died?

Who would spend a year learning a language so they could eavesdrop on their neighbors?

Who would take a dump in a showroom toilet?

Who would buy the creepy haunted doll and give it as a gift?

Who would cheer for the villain and have a pretty good argument for it?

Who would ask you to keep taking photos while the police arrested them?

Who would pay to have a building named after them, even if it was a public toilet?

Who would put a photo of themselves in a picture frame at a store?

Who would make their family follow a treasure map to find their inheritance?

Who would try to start a slow clap and keep going when nobody joined in?

Who would pretend to be asleep so two people would keep arguing in front of them?

Who is most likely to fist bump a high five or vice versa?

Who would ask for a refund for girl scout cookies?

Who would turn up to a costume party dressed as something so obscure no one would get it?

Who would volunteer to be hypnotized and fake it when nothing happened?

Who would teach a parrot something rude and then deny responsibility?

Who would ask someone to repeat an insult so they could use it later?

Who would miss their flight because they were too invested in a couple breaking up at the gate?

Who would get kicked out of a cult for trying to take over?

Who is most likely to call you in the middle of the night asking you to bail them out of jail?

Who would hire an actor to play their partner at a high school reunion?

Who would put a fake name on a restaurant waiting list just to hear someone shout it?

Who would buy a billboard to win an argument?

Who would start yelling at the audience as they are booed off stage?

Who would accuse a child of cheating at a game when they lost?

Who could talk a scammer into giving them money?

Who would become friends with your parents and start making plans without you?

Who would go along with your plan just to see how spectacularly it failed?

Who would understand a whole conversation conducted with eyebrow movements?

Who would lend you money and forget about it before you did?

Who would rearrange your fridge while looking for a drink?

Who would make you laugh by repeating one completely ordinary word?

Who would bring food to a potluck and ask to be paid back?

Who would bring a backup dessert because they didn't trust the guest bringing dessert?

Who would move the furniture to act out a story?

Who would feel so comfortable at someone else's house that they'd answer the door?

Who would argue for something they didn't believe just to see if they could win?

Who would donate a kidney to someone they couldn't stand if they were a match?

Who would stop an argument to check if the other person had eaten?

Who would leave their own birthday party for a better party?

Whose retirement party would the police have to break up?

Who would turn themselves in for committing a crime they felt guilty about?

Who would be better at being famous than being rich?

Who would drive three hours just to bring you a spare key?

Who could get a whole train car singing?

Who would let you blame them for something they hadn't done?

Who would let you stay with them without asking why you couldn't go home?

Whose parents would be the least surprised to see them on the news?

Who would you trust to pretend to be your boss on the phone?

Who would deny saying something while watching a video of themselves saying it?

Who would keep arguing after the other person admitted they were wrong?

Whose autobiography would need a fact-checker on every page?

Who would choose to spend a night in jail rather than apologize to someone they hated?

Who would adopt the ugliest animal at the shelter because they were worried nobody else would?

Who would squat at a vacation home if they needed a place to stay?

Who would let you tattoo them if you said you needed the practice?

Who would make friends with the person towing their car?

Who would be the most fun to haunt?

Who would start a rumor about themselves to see how long it took to get back to them?

If you were put on trial, who is the person you would least like to speak as a character witness?

Who could win over someone who came to the party determined to hate them?

Who is most likely to become famous and pretend they don't know any of us?

Who here could make an argument feel like flirting?

Who would flirt for fun and panic when someone flirted back?

Who would you take as a plus-one if your ex would be there?

Whose dating history would you most like to hear from the other side?

Who could talk you into a second date after a disastrous first one?

Who would you trust to plan a date without telling you where?

Who would you take on a date that involved no talking?

Who would send a post-date text before leaving the parking lot?

Who would choose a first-date restaurant because the exits were convenient?

Who would enjoy a date more after the fancy restaurant lost their booking?

Who would negotiate the date's end time before agreeing to meet?

Who would become friends with their ex's new partner?

Who would miss their ex's family more than their ex?

Who would give an ex dating advice and then hate that it worked?

Who would become suspicious if a date agreed with every opinion they had?

Who would encourage a friend to ask someone out, then realize they liked the same person?

Who would take it personally if a date didn't like their favorite restaurant?

Who would send a perfectly good flirty text, then ruin it with three follow-ups?

Who would book a vacation together before discussing whether they were exclusive?

Who would develop a crush while watching someone reverse a trailer?

Who would invite a crush over to help them put together furniture?

Who would care more about a date's taste in music than their manners?

Who would advise against dating someone exactly like themselves?

Who would get jealous after being the one to say, "Let's just be friends"?

Who would negotiate custody of a favorite café after a breakup?

Whose idea of a romantic surprise would require signing a waiver?

Who would flirt with someone using an accent they couldn't keep up for a whole evening?

Who would realize they were at the wrong wedding but still hang out and go home with someone they met there?

Who would bring their parents along to help them break up with someone?