These questions to ask your girlfriend are perfect for getting to know a new girlfriend or deciding whether a girlfriend you’ve had for a while is really right for you.
Do you prefer Spanish? Click here for “Questions to ask your girlfriend” en español.
Keep in mind, lot of these questions are really serious, so pick the right time. Serious questions for when you are in a serious discussion. Fun questions for over dinner.
I’m going to try to provide a bit of commentary on each question or set of questions to help you out with what to look for in an answer, but feel free to skip the commentary if you want.
And if you need even more questions to ask your girlfriend, try our questions for couples page.
Just remember it’s about balancing what’s most important to you. If both of you totally disagree on a question, it doesn’t necessarily mean you should end the relationship. It just means you might want to keep an eye on that issue and decide how important it is to you going forward in the relationship.
Also, remember to listen to her answers without judgement. If her answers differ from yours, it doesn’t mean she’s wrong or flawed, it just means she’s different than you.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Questions about the future
Looking for a long term relationship? These questions will help you get an rough idea of what direction your lives might be like if you continue dating.
1. Take minute, close your eyes and imagine what your perfect life would look like. Describe it in as much detail as possible.
This question and the one following it are great for finding out what she wants out of life and the life she would live if everything went perfectly. You can compare your girlfriend’s answer with your own goals for life and see if they match. So, if your perfect life is travelling around the world with nothing but a backpack and no cares, but her perfect life is building a business from the ground up; well, you two have some talking to do.
2. What would an average day in your perfect life look like? Do you have just one ideal life or can you think of more than one?
Also, even though they tell you a lot, they are still great lighthearted questions that you can bring up whenever.
3. What do you think the role of a woman in a relationship should be? How about the role of a man?
This one is very important to ask so that you can go into the relationship on the same page as far as roles go. If you both have wildly different ideas about both of your roles, you’ll need to get that settled before you get too far into the relationship.
4. Should roles change when a couple gets married or moves in together?
These two questions to ask your girlfriend are great for seeing how both of your roles in the relationship might change in the future, or at least how she is expecting them to change.
You’ll want to check your expectations against hers and see how they match up. If you are looking for a more traditional relationship situation and she is more progressive, I guarantee you’ll both be on the road for some serious fights.
Questions about the past
The past has a lot of useful information for the present and the future. These questions will help you learn more about your girlfriend’s past relationships so you can learn more about your current relationship. Remember to pick the right time and the right place for serious talks about the past.
5. What was your most serious relationship? How long did it last? Why did it end? What did you like / dislike about him?
Okay, okay, don’t get jealous when she is talking about ex-boyfriends, you’ve got ex’s too. You don’t have to compare her ex’s to yourself. This is great info on what she likes in a relationship and what she doesn’t. Plus, it will tell you more about how she views serious relationships.
6. Have you ever cheated on someone before? What happened?
This one is a land mine so be careful. That being said, it’s a great bit of information to know. I may be wrong on this one, but I think there is a reason people say once a cheater always a cheater. Has she cheated on more than one boyfriend? Well there is a good chance she’ll cheat on you. Same goes for you. I don’t think the rule applies only for women.
7. How much time did you usually spend with ex-boyfriends? Did you think it was too much time, or not enough time? What did you usually do with your ex-boyfriends?
Okay, one more time. Seriously. No getting jealous over ex-boyfriends. Don’t be that guy.
This questions basically lets you know how much distance you should be giving her. Some guys like their girlfriend to be around all the time, and some don’t. Same with girls. Some girls like spending as much time with their boyfriend as they can and some prefer having some distance. It’s just a personal preference.
Just like most of the questions, if your answers match up that’s great. If not, well it’s something to keep in mind. Don’t smother her and don’t give her the cold shoulder.
We also have a page of topics that has a section on personal history.
Questions about her
These questions are all about what she likes. You can keep these in mind to make her happy, or you can see how they compare with your likes and interests.
8: What are the three most annoying things a boyfriend can do? How about the three best things?
Things that annoy her = don’t do those things. Things she likes = try to do those things.
9. What was the most adventurous / crazy thing you have done in the past month? What is the most adventurous / crazy thing you have ever done?
This one will tell you how risk seeking or risk averse she is. If she is a lot more risk seeking than you, you might have to expand your comfort zone. If you are more risk seeking than her, be prepared for the fact she might not want to go with you on adventures. And she might not want you to do risky things either.
10. Do you prefer being outdoors or indoors?
Is she the indoor type and you’re not? Don’t expect her to enjoy being dragged out on camping trips. She the outdoor type and you’re not? Better get some hiking boots. If you are both really different, maybe try compromising and doing cabin trips.
11. What three objects that you own do you value most?
This one you’ll have to read a bit into. Is it something sentimental? She probably has a strong sentimental streak. Something practical? She probably isn’t very sentimental. Is it something expensive or something she can show off? Get ready to say goodbye to your money.
This one is also great because it’ll help you get some gift ideas for later. Or at least gift categories. Sentimental, get her something that reminds her of your relationship. Practical, give her something that will help with her hobbies. And so on…
12. What would you do if a close friend started saying mean things about you?
This question lets you know how she deals with conflict. Is she a peacemaker? Does she escalate things? Does she just avoid it?
Chances are she’ll deal with conflicts the same way with you. Maybe she’ll try to make peace, maybe she’ll get furious, maybe she’ll just stop talking to you.
13. What are your three favorite movies and three favorite TV shows? How about your three least favorite movies / TV shows?
This is a surprisingly practical question that will let you know how much you two will enjoy going to see movies together and watching shows together.
Does she watch shows / movies with you that are way out of line with her favorites? She might just be humoring you and watching them because you like them. If that’s the case, she’s probably going to get tired of humoring you and start wanting to watch what she actually likes.
14. What is your idea of a perfect Saturday night?
This one will let you know what she likes to do, perfect for getting some date ideas. Sure she’ll probably do what you want to do for a few Saturday nights, but eventually, as the relationship continues; she is going to want to do what she wants to do. So if you like partying and she doesn’t, or if you like chilling and playing video games and she likes going out. Well, that’s going to be a problem.
Questions about sex
If you are in a place in your relationship where you are comfortable talking about sex, then these are some great questions to learn more about who she is sexually. If your relationship hasn’t progressed that far, don’t worry about it, just skip these.
15. How many sexual partners have you had? Have you ever had unprotected sex?
Yep, these are some pretty basic questions to ask your girlfriend, but they are pretty crucial to know. She’ll want to know the same. Tit for tat.
And remember don’t get all pouty about her answers if she has had a lot of sexual partners or if she has had more than you. It’s not a competition. And besides you probably want a girlfriend that enjoys sex as much as you do.
On the flip side if she hasn’t had a lot of sexual partners it might mean she isn’t so into sex or it might mean she isn’t as experienced in the bedroom, or it might mean she doesn’t like to have sex until the relationship is a bit more serious.
Basically you want her sex drive to match yours, whether you are really into having frequent sex or if sex isn’t very important to you.
16. What two things would you like more of while having sex? Is there anything you’d like to try in the bedroom that you’ve been afraid to ask for?
A good sex life is important for a healthy relationship. You should both be trying to make each other happy in the bedroom. But don’t feel pressured to try something you aren’t comfortable with. And don’t pressure her into trying something she isn’t comfortable with. If either of you isn’t enjoying the sex you’re having, it will end badly for both of you.
17. How often do you like having sex?
This question will help you see how well both of your expectations about the frequency of sex match up. Usually if one person in a relationship has a vastly different number it’s a bad omen for the relationship. But you can try talking through it and trying to find some middle ground. Just don’t try and force the issue. You’ll just have to decide how important sex is for the relationship.
18. What time of day is the best for sex?
This one will give you a good idea of what time of the day she will most likely be in the mood. Good intel for sure.
Questions about money
Ah money, the number one starter of fights in a relationship. These might not be the most exciting questions to ask your girlfriend, but they are seriously important.
19. How good are you with budgeting money?
At least one of you should be good with money. If you are both bad with money, one of you will need to work on your money management skills. And you should probably decide who if you are in a serious relationship or live together.
20. What do you think is worth spending extra on to get the best?
This question will let you know what type of stuff she’ll be spending money on in the future. It can also let you know what she values.
21. What do you think is a waste of money?
This one will tell you what she’ll get angry about if you spend money on it.
22. What is the best thing about money: it provides security, it allows you to create good memories, or it allows you to buy nice things?
This question will let you know if she is a saver, values experiences, or values objects. Do with that knowledge what you will.
23. In a relationship, when should a man pay for something, when should a woman pay something, and when should they split the cost?
This one is mostly for new relationships, but really good to know what kind of expectations are on the table.
So there we go, those are my questions to ask your girlfriend. Hopefully they’ll help you out and give you some good info about your relationship. Just remember, like I said before. None of these questions is a relationship sinker, just keep in mind what is most important for you in a relationship.
More questions to ask your girlfriend
Here’s a list of some more questions you can ask your girlfriend. No commentary here, just a list of questions you can browse through and pick the ones you like.
- What do you know that you aren’t supposed to know?
- What’s a good relationship tip that sounds like a bad tip?
- What do you need to vent about?
- What causes you to look down on someone?
- What would a sitcom about your life be called?
- What are some unwritten rules in your family?
- What’s the worst downward spiral you’ve ever witnessed?
- What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned recently?
- What would your ideal life look like?
- What’s your idea of succeeding?
- What’s the saddest movie you’ve ever seen?
- What would you like your last meal to be?
- Where is the best place to go to meet awesome people?
- What’s the best thing you own?
- What popular shows or movies have you not seen?
- What’s the most romantic thing you’ve heard about someone doing for someone else?
- What’s the most disgusting or terrifying story you’ve ever heard?
- What is the most terrifying thing you can imagine?
- What would be the worst flavor of ice cream?
- What scene from a movie had a dramatic impact on you as a child but probably wouldn’t faze you now?
- Would you get into a relationship with yourself? Assuming that “other you” is a gender you are attracted to.
- What really should be common knowledge but for some reason isn’t?
- What 30 seconds would you erase from your life if you could?
- What salad dressing probably doesn’t exist but would be amazing if it did?
- What mistakes in your life have you learned the biggest lessons from?
- What strange food combinations do you enjoy and which do you hate?
- What are some things you could never wrap your head around?
- What piece of clothing do you always get a lot of comments on every time you wear it?
- What are some of the most annoying things that happen on social media?
- What are some things you are below average at and some things you are above average at?
- Where was your favorite place to play outside of your house when you were a child?
- What’s your favorite foreign film?
- What’s the worst non-illegal habit a person can have?
- What do you think about when you are lying in bed unable to sleep?
- What horror stories do you have from your job?
- If you were tasked with creating a brand new, wildly entertaining sport, what sport would you create?
- What food do you crave most?
- What’s the best way to spend a rainy afternoon?
- How good are you at keeping plants alive?
- What’s the worst part of your average day?
- What’s the funniest lie you’ve heard someone tell?
- What’s the most ridiculous reason someone has gotten mad at you for?
- What childhood movie was ruined after you watched it again when you were older?
- What’s your favorite euphemism?
- What are some things you feel compelled to do?
- If you were a master reverse pickpocket (putpocket?), what would you put into their pockets?
- If you learned that your country was going to cut off all access to the internet at 12 am tonight, what would you spend your time/bandwidth downloading?
- What does a day in the life of a couple with a super healthy relationship look like?
- What’s your favorite thing to do when the power goes out?
- What slang or trend makes you feel old?
- Who do you think has it all figured out?
- What’s something that was way better than you thought it would be?
- How often do you dance?
- When are you most comfortable?
- What are some things you’ve seen that you wish you could unsee?
- How good are you at keeping secrets?
- What’s something you’ve been wanting to get off your chest for a while?
- How are you really?
- What’s the most important thing you learned from your parents?
- What’s the most embarrassing clothing malfunction you’ve had?
- When was the last time you went to an amusement park or fair?
- What book has had the biggest impact on you?
- What was the most thoughtful gift you ever received?
- What would be the perfect pet?
- What are some clever insults you’ve heard?
- What’s something that many people find unattractive in a person, but you really like?
- What’s the best topping/ice cream combination?
- If you could become a master in one skill, what skill would you choose?
- How hard do you work to improve yourself or your life?
- What do you look forward to?
- If you could ask one question about your future, what question would you ask?
- What would your dream home look like?
- What do you wish you could change about yourself?
- What do you geek out about?
- Hammock, bean bag chair, or regular chair? Why?
- How artistic are you?
- What do you wish you had started a long time ago?
Red flags to watch out for
These are some really good things to keep an eye out for. Especially when you are just starting to date a girl. They are red flags that you’ll want to investigate a bit further before you get too serious.
Watch how she treats waiters and waitresses.
If she is mean to them she probably has a mean streak that will come out to bite you in the ass. The best way to judge a person’s kindness is how they act towards people they don’t need to be nice to. Plus, who wants spit in their food?
“I hate drama, but drama always finds me.”
Nope, she loves drama. And she probably goes out of her way to create or encourage it. Be prepared to always have some kind of drama emergency going on.
She hates your hobbies.
She won’t start liking them. You’ll either need to end it or stop doing the things you like. Find a girl who likes the same things you do. Or at the very least find a girl who tolerates your hobbies because she knows they are important to you.
Questions to ask your girlfriend – PDF and Image
And here is the image for all of the questions to ask your girlfriend.