Who would get into an argument with a psychic about their future? Who would thank an automatic door? Who would spend twenty minutes avoiding a two-minute phone call? Who would buy a portrait at a thrift store and claim it was one of their ancestors? Who would spend an inheritance on a dinosaur skeleton? Who would enter a talent show without deciding what their talent was? Who would get in line before finding out what it was for? Who would rehearse a surprised face before opening a present? Who would buy matching storage boxes before deciding what to put in them? Who would keep a chair nobody was allowed to sit on? Who would turn a paper napkin into a diagram to settle an argument? Who would measure a room by lying down on the floor? Who would start negotiating the bill before anyone had ordered? Who would check the dessert menu before agreeing on a place to meet for coffee? Who would make a seating plan for a picnic with three people? Who would cover up a working doorbell with a sign asking visitors make a loud doorbell sound? Who would turn a compliment about their jacket into its entire purchase history? Who would send a calendar invite for something that was supposed to be spontaneous? Who would mute a group chat and then ask everyone for updates? Who would type “quick question” before sending three paragraphs? Who would say "you too" after being wished a happy birthday? Who would try to straighten a rug while standing on it? Who would ask a restaurant where they bought the hand soap? Who would check an apartment's water pressure at a housewarming party? Who would choose a shopping cart based on how well it corners? Who would give a pep talk to a printer? Who would make a group food order harder by saying they’ll have anything? Who would insist the floor was more comfortable than the sofa? Who is most likely to make a joke at the absolute worst moment? Who would ask to have their ashes put in a snow globe? Who would race to nab the master bedroom in a shared vacation rental? Who would learn ventriloquism just to make people uncomfortable? Who would choose a terrible job because they loved the uniform? Who would agree to be stuffed and displayed in a museum after they died? Who would spend a year learning a language so they could eavesdrop on their neighbors? Who would buy the creepy haunted doll and give it as a gift? Who would cheer for the villain and have a pretty good argument for it? Who would ask you to keep taking photos while the police arrested them? Who would pay to have a building named after them, even if it was a public toilet? Who would put a photo of themselves in a picture frame at a store? Who would make their family follow a treasure map to find their inheritance? Who would try to start a slow clap and keep going when nobody joined in? Who would pretend to be asleep so two people would keep arguing in front of them? Who is most likely to fist bump a high five or vice versa? Who would ask for a refund for girl scout cookies? Who would turn up to a costume party dressed as something so obscure no one would get it? Who would volunteer to be hypnotized and fake it when nothing happened? Who would teach a parrot something rude and then deny responsibility? Who would ask someone to repeat an insult so they could use it later? Who would miss their flight because they were too invested in a couple breaking up at the gate? Who would get kicked out of a cult for trying to take over? Who is most likely to call you in the middle of the night asking you to bail them out of jail? Who would hire an actor to play their partner at a high school reunion? Who would put a fake name on a restaurant waiting list just to hear someone shout it? Who would buy a billboard to win an argument? Who would start yelling at the audience as they are booed off stage? Who would accuse a child of cheating at a game when they lost? Who could talk a scammer into giving them money? Who would understand a whole conversation conducted with eyebrow movements? Who would rearrange your fridge while looking for a drink? Who would make you laugh by repeating one completely ordinary word? Who would move the furniture to act out a story?